Then the Dear Leader went to Uttar Pradesh for some festival or the other, wore his usual Bollywood clothes, and told a huge gathering of non-farmers about the wonderful new laws he had made for farmers, implying that they had marched to Delhi to thank him in person.
At the end, he treated the non-farmers to a garish laser show with predominantly green flashing lights (to imply fields, I gather), to prove to non-farmers that he adores farmers. He loves them dearly, no matter what anti-nationals, Khalistanis, urban naxals, jihadis, Justin Trudeau, anti-Hindu Hindus, and members of the tukde tukde gang (and the Gupkar gang too) say
Now, we know just how much the Dear Leader loves talking about his acts of generosity, so I was surprised that he forgot to mention that he had ordered a lovely Atithi Devo Bhava-type welcome for the farmers at Delhi’s borders.
They were greeted with powerful water cannons to wash the dust off them after their long journey from their villages. Icy water, of course, because the dear man wanted them to experience Swedish spa treatment totally free of cost. Trenches were dug in the roads too, perhaps to remind them of ploughed fields to make them feel at home.