Category B thinks the Dear Leader is so awesome that heads of far more powerful nations go out of their way to impress him. His speech at the BRICS summit on 17th November inspired a celebrated journalist to tweet the following, “When PM @narendramodi was addressing #BRICSSummit today, President of China Xi Jinping tried to impress Modi by drinking tea.”
Oh dear. I have never impressed anyone in my life. I know this for sure, because I don’t drink tea. Neither have I ever felt remotely impressed while watching people drink tea. Maybe there’s something dreadfully wrong with me?
Now, I willingly concede that it may be unfair to judge a writer by his/her tweets because of twitter’s word limit. The journalist, let us call him Mr Sanjay Bragta, can redeem himself by writing a lengthy article analysing the manner in which Xi Jinping drank his tea to impress the Dear Leader. Was it respectful because Xi did not make vulgar slurping noises? Was Mr Bragta enchanted by the way the tea cup was held or by the genteel manner in which Xi mopped his lips with his hanky after he finished the brew?
Mr Bragta should also include rules on how we must drink our tea in the presence of the Dear Leader too, just to reassure him that we hold him in high regard. The article must have a paragraph that lists other beverages, and how we should drink them to show the Dear Leader that we’re awestruck. This is very important, because while it may be considered posh to drink tea with a finger sticking out, it may be misunderstood as a rude gesture when you’re drinking cola. Seriously though, I would dearly love to know what Mr Bragta was drinking and smoking when he tweeted that (not tea, for sure).